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Sleep Training from Baby’s point of view

July 14, 2008

This came across my desk today. It’s funny in a very tongue and cheek kind of way. Anyone who has ever felt torn by the whole Cry It Out debate will definitely appreciate this.



Sleep Training…

OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great–
I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months.

Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep–they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1–cry every 3 hours until you get fed.
I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.

Night 2–cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3–every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT’S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is just resisting the change.

If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t eaten pears since lunch,
what’s up with that? The cat said “meow”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right–doesn’ t matter! Keep crying!!

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.

If you enjoyed reading this post, you might also like these two articles.

The Boredom of Motherhood

I call my sister… “What are you doing?”  Would you like to come over and watch ladybugs with us?”  a note of desperation in my voice.  We’ve been at this ladybug watching for a while now and I’m finding it hard to stay interested.  Keep Reading




Birth from the perspective of a 7 year old

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.  When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.  So I always have a few sessions with my students.  It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.  Keep Reading

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Mel permalink
    August 6, 2008 1:25 pm

    Fabulous. This is exactly the stage I am at. Good to inject a little humour to the situation. I can see my little stinker saying this too! Thanks Marie. A good reminder that it’s a learning on both sides, for mommy and baby. Even if it is second baby.
    This was my first visit to your new blog too. I will be back!!


  2. Melinda permalink
    August 8, 2008 12:22 pm

    OMG! It’s like “Mel” is me!
    I was thinking the exact same thing from where I’m at with number two to the fact that this is my first visit to your blog too!
    Thanks Marie…

    Melinda 🙂

  3. Glenys permalink
    August 11, 2008 9:48 am

    Hilarious- I actually think each beby has its own normal and we should follow their patterns. They do sleep, just no the way we want them to. Getting upset disturbs your sleep more. My first three children slept through the night ( 5- 9 hours ) right away without me doing a thing . Of course they ate all day and evening to make up for it. I thought I had the touch! Not sure what it was but I did something right. My fourth dissolved all notions that I had any ” magic touch”. He is now 18, still does not sleep through the night soundly. He would wake up the rest of them sometimes though so many times we would have all four kids in bed or on floor by bed by am. NOW I can laugh. – glenys

  4. Linell permalink
    August 11, 2008 10:15 am

    Great Blog Marie! This is an article you will NOT find in any sleep training book! Way to cute! I am sharing this with all my new mommies!

  5. Milagros permalink
    August 21, 2008 2:30 pm

    This is too funny!!! After 20 months, I am still in training, lol.

  6. Nicole permalink
    November 19, 2010 11:08 am

    Hahaha, that just made my day!!!
    We are at that stage and I think you got it just right!!!

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